You are making your mom WEIRD! Who is this woman? She now eats candy. She only dines on Lucky Charms for breakfast. She wakes up more tired than when she went to bed. All she wants to do is furniture shop. She is always horizontal, and I haven’t seen her knees in 3 months. (She’s always covered in a blanket.) All of that way okay.
Until this morning.
Now she is laughing at random things. The strangest things. Things that people don’t laugh at make her hysterically laugh. Where is my wife? Who is this woman?
Last night a guy on TV bumped his head into a window. She was dying. This morning there was a boring commercial on. Suddenly I hear “haha!” I ask what is so funny- she says, “not funny- that was clever.”
Clever? Fricking “clever?” I’ve known you for years! I’ve never heard you use the word “clever!” Where is my stink!??? Who is this woman? If you have been replaced by an alien or cloned- whoever pulled off this hoax is very clever!