We are getting ready for lunch with Brett and Allyson. Here are some random quotes from the bathroom.
Me: I’m gonna wear a hat.
Mom: Oh are we feeling self-conscious today?
Mom: I think it’s weird to ask to see someone’s baby bump. Like, let me see your stomach at your lost awkward stage. Wait- I don’t see a babybump. That’s just fat.
Me: Welcome to my world.
Mom: So this is what it’s like to have your belly?
Me: Mines bigger.
Mom: I don’t see how you do it man.
Me: RUDE! Just for that I’m going to eat 5 plates of nachos! I’m going to have a wing eating contest.. with MYSELF!
Mom: Go ahead- I dare you. And your butt will thank you tomorrow.
Mom: Oh my God! STOP SINGING!
Me: *looks at watch*
Me: Just checking the time- we need to leave in 5 minutes.
Mom: Well you better go start pooping now because I am NOT going to rush to get ready and then stand around waiting for you to poop.