Getting ready 

We are getting ready for lunch with Brett and Allyson. Here are some random quotes from the bathroom. 

Me: I’m gonna wear a hat. 

Mom: Oh are we feeling self-conscious today? 
Mom: I think it’s weird to ask to see someone’s baby bump. Like, let me see your stomach at your lost awkward stage. Wait- I don’t see a babybump. That’s just fat. 

Me: Welcome to my world. 

Mom: So this is what it’s like to have your belly? 

Me: Mines bigger. 

Mom: I don’t see how you do it man. 

Me: RUDE! Just for that I’m going to eat 5 plates of nachos! I’m going to have a wing eating contest.. with MYSELF! 

Mom: Go ahead- I dare you. And your butt will thank you tomorrow. 

Mom: Oh my God! STOP SINGING! 

Me: *looks at watch* 

Mom: What? 

Me: Just checking the time- we need to leave in 5 minutes. 

Mom: Well you better go start pooping now because I am NOT going to rush to get ready and then stand around waiting for you to poop. 

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