My son 

Dear Tucker, 

You have changed my heart. You’ve been in our lives for a month now, and these are the best words I can string together to explain the effect you’ve had on me. You always hear “having a kid will change your life.” Not only have you changed my life, you’ve changed the way I think, feel, value, and appreciate life. 

I tell people that the first time I held you it didn’t feel like we were meeting for the first time. Instead, it felt like you had always been there- always been a part of my life. From the second you came into the world, my heart was divided even further; now not only does mom carry a part of me with her- so do you. 

This first month has been incredible. Every little gasp or coo you make- every little fart, every cry- love. My little man. You do really cute things like laying very still, then suddenly throwing your arms and feet in the air like you are casting a spell. You try to escape your swaddle like Houdini… at first one finger will make it out by your neck, then a hand… then an arm.. then suddenly both arms. You are a little escape artist. 

Your yawns are adorable.. your eye contact. Every little thing is perfect. I’ve woken up and told you “dad wants 4000 kisses today,” and you are ready for the challenge. (I think the most I’ve gotten in a day is 1400 so far) haha. 

Some recent things: I wore you in a baby carrier for the first time yesterday. Mom takes you for walks a lot. You’ve started making small trips like Target or Costco. You eat every 3 hours. You wake up once a night at around 2:30am. You LOVE dad time. You can almost pick up your head. You make eye contact now. 

I am so glad you are a part of my life Tucker. I could never have imagined I could love you so much. I can’t wait to see what you become. I’m daydreaming about sending you to summer camp for young web developers, or musicians, or sports camp. I’ve started you a college plan. I’m doing everything I can to give you the best possible chance to be whatever you want to be someday. 

God couldn’t have given me a more perfect son. I am so thankful for you. You are laying on my lap sucking on a pacifier- no idea why your weird dad is crying right now. 

Have a good morning son. 

Dad 

You peed on your dad! 

We were having a moment- I’d just told mom that your eyesight was getting better and it seemed like you could make eye contact. She agreed. 

I took that as a cue to try some cartoons, so I put on Mickey Mouse Racers. You love it! You stopped fidgeting and just stared at the screen, while sitting on my lap. 

It was awesome! Then the show cut to commercial. The commercial was some cartoon fish in the ocean. You made a little sound and kept watching. 

Then suddenly my leg and stomach starting feeling really, really warm. I was confused- because I didn’t hear or feel you poop. 

And then I realized, I was covered in Tucker urine! 

You just peed all over your daddy! 

Well done son, well done. That was a big pee pee! Proud of you. But hey… next time can you pee on mom instead? 

Is he tired? 

We were just playing with you before bed. Mom had you on her lap, and I was filming you and watching your facial expressions. Then this happened: 

Mom: I can’t tell. Is he tired? 

Me: I don’t know. He hasn’t slept as much today. (You start making really weird faces at mom.) 

*silence fills the room.* 

Then….. 

Pssssshhhhfttyyyyybuuuuuurrrrreeeetttyyyssssss. (GIANT squishy wet sounding poop inside diaper on moms lap.) 

We both started cracking up. 

Both: Guess he had to poop.