It’s 5:16am. I just changed your diaper for the second time ever. You are cooing and making little noises all swaddled up in your blanket. The lights are low and mom is in bed next to you recovering. Every time you make a little noise my heart melts. This is crazy.
I wondered what it would feel like the first time I saw you. Would you be a little stranger? Would I just instantly love you? The best way I can describe it is this: as soon as you grabbed my hand with your tiny little fingers, it felt like you had always been in my life. Like you belonged, were a part of me, and had always been there. I love you so much. Tears are streaming down my face as I write this. Judge me if you want someday, but I’m your dad.
This day has been magical. I wish your mom wasn’t having such a rough time. Since you caught us all by suprise we had to do a C-section, and as a result mom can’t stand up yet or eat. She’s in a lot of pain and really tired and hungry. But even through all that, every time she holds you her face completely changes. She lights up. She smiles. She stares at you. Loves on you. Adores you. It’s beautiful.
Your Grandma and Grandpa Meinsen drove straight down from North Carolina- 11 hours straight. They didn’t get here until midnight, so they can’t meet you until tomorrow. They have sent 4000 texts and I’ve sent them 400 photos of you.
When you, mom, and I were alone for the first time I prayed. I thanked God for your mom, her healthy delivery, you, and the great gift of being your father.
You are perfect to mom and I. You couldn’t be more amazing. Your first day on earth was awesome. I love you.
I have to get going because they gave your mom crackers, (her first food in 18 hours) and I have to make sure she doesn’t choke herself eating too fast. She just said “these crackers taste soooo flipping good!”